The Wait to the Specialist

As the hospital referral clerk called to set up our appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist (RE) I felt like I just got socked in the face.

I went into the infertility battle (yes, it's a daily battle) thinking that my local women's doctor would be able to help us finally have a baby. Nope. I feel like I need a t-shirt that says, "I went on Clomid and all I got was crazy."

While speaking with the RE's clinic, the details of the appointment keep piling up. She tells me that I should bring a notebook to the appointment  and that the appointment will take at least two hours. Initial reaction: I mean are the going to spend 2 hours staring at my crotch!?!?!
Secondary reaction: Insert stress about getting time off work for the hubs and myself. Insert stress about the upfront fee. Gulp.

She also mentions that we will be meeting with a genetic specialist. I think that's what scares me. While it's comforting knowing we're going to be taken good care of, we still might not find an answer. Or even worse, it'll be something genetic that can't be fixed.

It's a scary thing to be told that you'll receive a large package of paperwork in the mail before the appointment.I have a theory that the more paperwork involved, the more serious the issue. I don't know that I'm scared or that I'm just sad because it's gotten to this point where it is a real big (and expensive) issue that can't be fixed by my normal doctor.

I go over it in head and try to replay life's events that may have lead up to this and wonder how did it get to serious so fast. Yet, it didn't. It's been over two years. Now I'm wondering if I should've done this all sooner. I didn't think that at 27 it would be so hard to have a baby. I mean, that's what people do at this stage, right?

Ugh. It's over a month away. The wait will be tough. I'm still hopefully that simply scheduling the appointment will just make things happen. Overall, I'm happy with this. I'm happy that we scheduled an appointment because no matter the outcome, it's a step forward. I've been very optimistic. I confess that I bought a to-die-for onsie (ok so three :) ) that I'm saving in a little box under the bed for that one day when the test shows up positive.

What was your first RE appointment like? Honest answers welcomed.

Cheers to wishful thinking,
Katie