Top 5 for Greater Satisfaction in Life

5. Disconnect from technology
Ever been out for drinks, or well...anything, and your friend won't put down the damn phone? Yeah. That sucks. I don't know about you, but when it happens to me I feel like they would rather be with the person they're on the phone with. Disconnect a bit and focus on the real and true friendship that's sitting right there beside you and stop focusing on 'friendships' based on Facebook likes.

4. Be a REAL friend
To piggyback on number five, be a real friend. Be present in their life. Don't assume that someone's social media life is really what's going on in their lives. Liking someone's photo or status doesn't really do anything but offer a materialistic means of gratification. The picture of your friend's kid that you liked...yeah, have you ever met the kid? I don't know about you but to me things mean a lot more when they're directed at me individually and not through social media. Be the person who's their for your friend when there is no social media status, when it's just every day life that we're all trying to get through.

3. Be Kind
Every single one of us is facing a battle--most of those battles we never know about, but they continue to go on.  All we can do is be kind. We can take the extra time and care with each other and each others feelings. Stranger or not, kindness goes a long way.

2. Be Thankful
We tend to dwell and focus on those things we don't have. I know I'm guilty of it. We need to focus on the positive in our lives and use those positives as stepping stones to move forward with our lives. Every single damn negative thing has given us a new perspective and outlook and we need to use those negatives and develop from them. Take the time to really see and be a part of what you're thankful for in life.

1. YOU (yes you!) are perfect as-is.
I don't care if you have an extra 5 or 50lbs, you are perfect as-is. You are who you are and who you are is what matters. Stop focusing on negative things you want to change. See the thing you see as imperfections, are actually the thing people love most about you. Our so-called flaws help define us--if we were all society's perfect Barbie doll, we would all be the same. We wouldn't have any uniqueness to set us apart. So keep smiling with that non-so-perfect smile. Keep laughing that crazy loud and weird sounding laugh that makes people stare.

Three Year Reminder

It'll be three years on Saturday.

Three years since my ectopic or tubal pregnancy.

For those of you who don't know, an ectopic pregnancy can't proceed normally. The fertilized egg can't survive, and the growing tissue might destroy various maternal structures. Left untreated, life-threatening blood loss is possible. Early treatment of an ectopic pregnancy can help preserve the chance for future healthy pregnancies. 

I remember going to acute care that day because I was bleeding a lot and in a lot of pain.

I didn't know I was pregnant. I hurt so bad and WebMD-ed myself to believe I had kidney stones.

I didn't.

I went to the doctor alone thinking it would be easy peasy.

It wasn't.

The general doctor  in acute care told me that I was pregnant and that the pregnancy wasn't normal and likely wouldn't survive, all in the same breath.

I cried. A lot.

I felt so alone.

My sister had a baby that very day and here I was finding out I had a tubal pregnancy.

I couldn't go tell my family and ruin the birth of my niece.

I didn't know what to think or do.

I left the acute care in tears--the nurse thought I was upset because I was pregnant.

She must've missed the part about the heavy bleeding, pain, and that it wouldn't survive.

I went to the doctor they recommended who must not have read my charts and told me I was fine and be on my merry way.

I wasn't fine. I bled for about two days more and took a pregnancy test that was positive and called my normal women's doctor. Luckily, he knew what was going on. My husband couldn't leave work. My mom came with. I didn't tell her what was going on. After three hours with the doctor, she was rightfully crabby from waiting. Her sense of rush made it that more difficult for me to tell her what was going on. I told her and she had no empathy. She didn't know how to respond or react.

The next day I drove myself to the doctor--alone.

I sat there horrified at the parenting magazines in the waiting room while I waited.

I saw my doctor alone and went home alone.

Here I am three years later, still struggling with fertility.

It doesn't get easier. 

I've just become better at masking it and trying to move on.

I'll go to my nieces birthday party Saturday with a big grin and big heart, but I'll leave and wonder about where I would be if mine wasn't a tubal pregnancy that day three years ago.

Etsy Banners

With all the drama of my infertility never-ending saga, I decided to put my time into something for me that makes me happy to try and occupy my mind.

I started an etsy shop.

There are digital prints and a few banners up there so far, but I had to share my banners because I just love them.

They fit my home perfect (and won't cost you too much).

One of the faces of Infertility

I'm Katie.

I'm 27.

I'm pretty average.

I am one of the many faces of infertility.

I made all the right decisions in life and it still happened to me.

No, it's not cancer.

It's not a medical condition that will kill you physically.

It will kill you emotionally.

It will challenge you every single day.

It will make you tear up at diaper commercials,

It will make happy momentous events like friends having babies wrench your heart.

It will make you do things you never expected.

It will make you take medications that make you feel crazy.

It will make you give yourself shots, as the doctor ordered.

It will make you spend tens of thousands of dollars on treatment that insurance won't cover.

It will push you beyond your limits until you feel like you're going to break.

Then,

in what seems like your darkest of hours,

it will make you strong enough to go on.

It will show you strength to go on with life.

It will show you a new life that you never dreamed of living.

Infertility will change your life.

Embrace it.

A Month to be Thankful

November is the perfect month to remember the things we're thankful for in the world.
It's a time to really count our blessings.

 The whole infertility journey has been a tough one for me.
I'm thankful that I am no longer in the dark place infertility can take you.
If you've experienced infertility, you know what I'm talking about. If you're still in that dark place, it's ok. I was there for a long time and still have my slip ups of tears, sadness, or anger.
Silverlining: I'm thankful that I want something so bad that I will fight and fight for it and not give up.

I'm thankful for my support system.
My husband has watched me turn into a crazy person on clomid, a sad sad person, and back to normal without hesitation. My mom has filled in at appointments that my husband couldn't make and been there when I just need to go and buy some happy. The friends who listen and kindheartedly care enough to be sensitive and just there whether I need a shoulder to cry on or a night away from it all have saved me from myself.

I'm also thankful for limits. Thankful that I can set limits and be ok to move on when I've reached that point.

I'm so lucky to have a team of doctors, CNPs, and RNs that walk me through it all.
One phone call and results left me feeling like we had reached the end of the road until my doctor wanted a follow up.
She had a plan. An actual plan of what we could do to try to reverse our bad results.
It was instant relief. It was instant hope.

I'm thankful I have options.
While the medications make me feel terrible and aren't ideal, I'm thankful I have to option to take them. I have myself my first trigger shot on Saturday and felt a combination of empowered and scared.

While this has been a journey with many cliffs and valleys, I'm thankful that I've gotten through it this far. I'm a fighter and I will not let infertility get the best of me. It may get the best of some days, but it won't get the best of my life.

Side note: this print is available as a digital download for $3 on my etsy shop.