Wine tree

My favorite kind of tree: the wine tree

This summer I spent some time at a family friend's and she had this gorgeous wine tree. I had to get one of my own. It comes as a metal frame and my particular tree holds 98 (wow, I know right) empty bottles of wine.

 

At first I was on a mission to fill it myself, but after about 3 months with only 9 bottles, I got some help from friends and had them save bottles for me. I'm slowly filling it up, but carefully picking out wine based on all the important things: bottle color and cuteness of the label. 

I've started adding extras in to the layers that are filling up. Some feathers, leaves, and berries, oh my!

Just wanted to share a little fun to my fellow wine drinkers.

Cheers!

Katie

high five for {friday}

High Five for Friday 

High Five for Friday 

1. Owls. I heart them. I found this one at Joann's Fabrics and made it custom for our house.

2. Paints. I made this painting/wall hanging a while back and fall weather made me re-fall in love with the colors. It made me think of fall and thinking of the next adventure in chapter.

3. My new vinyl wall cling. A nice  daily reminder that there is no one-size fits all in beauty. 

4. Golfing with the fam. My dad calls my husband to go golf more than he calls me...and I love it!

5. SoDak sunsets. Turn on the country music and this sunset will fit right in. "I'm going to live where the green grass grows.." I took this off my front porch. Does it get any better?

One not so high five for Friday: my sister moved. It makes me sad panda. If you want to see the saddest thing, look at a panda bear that's sad. That's how I am right now.

Finding {peace} during infetility

The hardest part of the infertility journey is finding peace.

Over two years into this journey and I figure out the big picture of this journey. The hardest part for me has been the lack of answers. Unexplained infertility is a double edged sword: while I'm happy nothing is medically wrong with either of us, that also means there's nothing to fix so to speak.

As a reach milestones in my journey here are my top five ways to find peace.

1. Don't be afraid to talk about it. Yes, it's going to be hard and yes, some people won't understand. I found it most helpful to open up to our families and closest friends about it. The more I held it in, the more I hurt, and the darker and deeper the hurt got. Opening up to people is tough and not everyone is going to be the kind of support you may need. Regardless, it's the best way to gain extra support. How can someone support you if they don't know what's going on?

2. Do not let it take you over. I have infertility; it does not have me. For too long, I let our infertility take over my life. I reached a point where I felt like I was obsessed with it and I was letting it effect my marriage. When I saw this happen, I turned a leaf and decided that it was not going to have me.

3. Find distractions. The wait between the cycles, doctor's appointments, and meds can be crazy. Distract yourself with something else you love. It will occupy your time and keep your mind from being overwhelmed with infertility and all the fun that goes with it. I started this blog, took up a bit of gardening (so time consuming, but fun--I can't grow a baby, but I can grow some great flowers :) ), went to the lake as much as possible, and plan to have a lot of projects/crafts for when South Dakota's winter hits.

4. Look at your priorities, count your blessings. I really had to take a step back and evaluate my life on this one. While having a baby is a priority, it would've never been one if I didn't meet the right guy. I found that I was putting the desire to have a baby before my marriage, before my best friend. It's only looking back that I can see this. Now, I wake with daily affirmations and count my blessings. When you count them, there gets to be a lot.

5. Moving on is not giving up. For me, I'm ready to move on, but I'm not giving up. I'm moving on from the negativity, heart ache, and sadness of infertility. We've set our limits and are sticking to them. We're not giving up, but we're moving on to the next chapter. A chapter filled with laughter. If a baby miraculously becomes a part of that, even better. Yet, a  or no baby will not define us as we move forward with our journey.

If any one is out there and reading this: you're not alone.

Hosting a baby shower + Infertility

Hosting a baby shower while going through infertility,  on paper, looks like the stupidest thing I could do. Yet, after two years of going through the ups and downs of infertility, why should I continue to put my life on-hold? I'm done crying every night about it; I'm done being sad 24/7. I'm ready to move on and move up to a more positive time in my life.

While I start my post with a strong and powerful feeling, note that there is a lot of emotion. I'm coming to terms with the fact that maybe a baby isn't in the cards for me. I feel that the this next appointment will be my final check mark of the closure list (pending the outcome I guess). I'm ready to move on with my life and stop being heartbroken over something I never had. I'm thinking of all the stuff we could've done with our money instead of testing that has given us absolutely no answers or direction to go. I feel like unexplained infertility is a joke of a diagnosis. It doesn't provide any reasons or cause and effect.The amount of heartache, sadness, tears, and nights of infertility taking me to a lonely and dark place is my life was too many. Life is way too short for that. I'm ready to be done with it all.

Going through the Infertility journey is a time when you find out who your true friends are. I cannot believe the number of 'friends' who are completely insensitive to the situation despite the number of times I confront them and tell them that their comments are hurtful and saddening to me and the topic can be painful.

Some comments have been bothering me, so here it my little vent session. If I write it down, I feel like it's taking a huge weight off my shoulders.

The person, not friend, who's pregnant and constantly complaining about how terrible pregnancy is. Well, yes, I do understand it's not all peaches and cream, but you know that's something I've wanted. I've told you my situation and how hard it is for me, so let's keep it more positive conversations about pregnancy so I can be happy for you and not upset that you're complaining and taking it for granted. The person who makes a joke of it despite me telling her that I take it very serious. Don't joke that I'm not doing 'it right.' I've calculated doing it for 26 months on the exact schedule my body (and doctor) tell me is the correct time. I've spent way too much money on ovulation kits to ensure I'm doing it all right. The person who tells me I'm not doing enough or going as far as I could to get this pregnant. We have a modest income that allows a little wiggle room. Not room to spend $12K a month on IVF. I've spent a LOT of money with everything we've done. There is also an emotional cost associated with all of this too. The heartbreak on my monthly gift has grown tiresome. The person who tells me that I can't be done trying. Are you kidding me? This is my choice. It's my body, my emotions, and my marriage that all of this is effecting. Fertility drugs make me feel like poo and also make me a crazy emotional wreck that still has to continue on with life as normal even though I feel terrible.

Ugh. It's been hard, but I also have realized how good some of my friends are to me. My husband is a trooper. He has listened to my tears and hurt day after day and still loves me. My mom has been a support beam for me. Allowing me to breakdown and have her build me back up. A few friends have been crazy great. Two who know the most don't even live in the same town as me. One lives literally across the country and gives me so much support I can feel her hugs over the phone. She listens non-stop and will even Skype and have a happy hour with me when I'm down. Another lives an hour away and was the first person to really see my hurt before I was able to open up about it. Her simply being able to recognize this shows how good of a friend she it to me. One in town takes the time to do lunch once a week (and does my hair too :) ) with me and tells me in the most heart-felt, thinking of you, kindest way that she's expecting again. I so appreciate the way she told me. Her non-stop interest in how I'm doing and what's going on with me makes me feel less crazy.
 

Well that's enough venting for the day.
Katie
 

High Five for Friday

High Five for Friday is a weekly link-up hosted  at Lauren Elizabeth (love her blog). It's a chance to reflect on your week and remember some (five, to be exact) of your favorite things about it. This is my first week and here's a taste of what I'm loving this week:

1. I know Jello shots are a very college thing to love, but I do love them. My mom and I (goofy I know) make them for tailgating. It's so fun to see young and old people connect at our tailgate spot because of a simple Jello shots. College students (21+) and alumni in retirement connect and meet because we bring these. It's so fun. Who doesn't love to tailgate? Great food, drinks, and great people!
2. My new seat covers. My mom is this uber talented sewer and she made these for me without a pattern in an hour! We got the fabric 70% off at Hancock Fabrics this weekend, so the total cost was about $12. I honestly love seat covers for my car. I have a dog that sheds a lot and these covers save me. My seats look brand new because I've always had seat covers.
3. My new owl. Again, 60% off at Hancock fabrics. I like all of the colors. It adds a little bit of fun and silly to my office. I don't think offices need to be so stuffy. I work at a university and I want students to feel comfortable when they come in.
4. My new niece Lanie is so stinkin' cute. She's been filling my extra time. I'm hosting a baby-q co-ed shower tonight. I'll post later to let you know how it goes.
5. My husband and my pup. Ok, he's an old man not a pup, but I heart these two big time. The weather's been cooling off at night so we can all enjoy a drink, a fire, and eachother's company at night.

Cheers to the weekend!
Katie

PS-I made this awesome college at Fotor and love it! That site has so much fun stuff.
Also, if you haven't linked up for H54F, you should!

Feeling {ready for} Fall

As I browsed Hobby Lobby, which I could do for days, I was overwhelmed by the number of Christmas decor and decided that I'm ready for fall. I'm ready for pumpkin latte's, pumpkin flavored treats, and most of all cute boots!

I decided that I needed a few fall items to add to my mudroom entrance and settled on giant, glittery acorns, and a few cutesy pumpkins. The best part: it was all 40% off!

Just wanted to share because I don't normally decorate a ton for each season/holiday, aside from Christmas. I realized that I don't need a lot to make a big impact for changing the feel for fall.

Happy Fall everyone! Now back to going outside so me and my cute pup (disclaimer: he's actually really old. Hence the white face that looks like he got hit in the face with a snowball).

Cheers,

Katie (and Bruno)

 

Note: I love Hobby Lobby and this is just my opinion of the store and I think half of my home decor typically comes from there.

Upcycle, Upgrade

Upcylce = Upgrade 

I'm so mad at myself for not taking a before picture, but I just wanted to share this photo of a garage sale bargain ($5!) that I upgraded. It was plain wood before with some, let's say VERY outdated flowers.

I used some gray paint I had from painting my walls and some $.97 Walmart white craft paint and a Hobby Lobby Wall stencil I had hanging around collecting dust.

I honestly painted this thing as quick as possible in my garage (hence the junk on the floor) and let it sit in the sun/wind and dry. It's not the best drying technique, but I was 100% going for imperfection on this one. 

Then, I used a stencil brush and stenciled the pattern in under 5 minutes (4minutes of adjusting the stencil, 1minute stenciling).

Just remember that cosmetic details can be quickly fixed! 

Thanks!

Katie

Catching Up

As you may have noticed, it's been a while since I've posted.

I blame the whirlwind that has been my life lately...well, and the beautiful South Dakota summer-like days have been drawing me to spend as much time outside as I can before it get cold.

Since I last posted, I've become an aunt (again) to this cutie below.

Her name is Lanie and she's too cute! It is my one sister's first. She was so thoughtful and asked me to be in the room with her during the delivery. I know, some of you may be thinking of how weird/crazy that is, but it was good. I feel like it was good for me and for her. I cheered her on as she grew tired and exhausted. For me, it felt like something I could check off my list as I go through the infertility journey. I felt like because I've watched it and been a part of a real life birth, I could check it off my list of things to do for closure for infertility. I feel like it gave me one more check mark off of the list of things I need to do to be "done" with the baby thing. When I say "done" I really mean come to terms with knowing I might never do this.

I also found out the hard way that I'm allergic to bees. My arm literally swelled 5 times its normal size! It looked like elephantiasis. When I went into the doctor a day and a half later, he laughed at the size and told me I should've went to the ER. Opps! He seemed pleased with my response that I didn't want an ER bill. He also advised me to try not to get stung in the face or neck, lol. Needless to say, I'm now an owner of epi pens. Hoping I won't have to use them.


Until the next time,
Katie