This week has been hard for me emotionally. Blogging about my infertility experience started as a way for me to blurt our everything my heart was feeling about what I was going through, but it's done more than that. It's let me put it out in the open with no fears. It's let me actually have a place where I didn't have to receive advice from every one and their dogs. It's let me actually reflect without tears. It's let me see how real this is. Something about putting something on paper makes it more real.
The first year of infertility I was calm. We were just going to let things happen.
The second year hit and each pregnancy hit me harder. Thanks to Facebook, I knew 12 people pregnant. After feeling down, I got rid of Facebook and I feel so much better.
I don't have to hear about how wonderful and terrible the pregnancy is, or better yet, I don't have to hear about babies' every sneeze and bowel movement. Yes, I'm sure they're wonderful, but taking myself off the Facebook grid has opened my world up. I'm more in touch with the people who matter most to me. And those babies that are actually apart of my life, I see their sneezes and smell their diapers when friends visit. It's a great experience removing yourself from technology. It actually has made me more relaxed.
I am a better wife, better daughter, better aunt, and better friend because the connection isn't a click away. I find myself in a happier place by forcing those efforts to connect in life. I get show people how much I care about them and love them and value those relationships more because of the connection. By connecting directly with my loved once, and physically showing up in their life's events, I have an extra sense of value in my own life.
Disconnecting from social media has made me re-connect this those important people in my life.
It's also made me see myself with more value. I get to be apart of these people's lives and they love me whether I have kids or not. They may not understand what I'm going through in this journey, but a hug from my niece touches my heart more than a million likes on Facebook could ever do.
Make sure you see those connections outside of social media and make sure you live them up.
Those people who show up with a tub of ice cream and sit on the couch with you and while you just be are the people who will make all the difference. Quality people makes all the difference.
Katie
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