Going Crazy on Clomid

Before I start talking about clomid, I want to say that I was extremely indifferent about using medication to assist in my ovulation cycle. I took a variety of herbs, vitamins, and everything natural under the sun to help my ovulation. I even did fertility acupuncture.

While doing all my research, sadly, there is always a dollar sign associated with fertility. Clomid has been around for years and is often the first step in treating fertility issues. At $9-$20 a month, how could I say no?

If you haven't heard of clomid or read about it, please do so. The side effects can be tough, and I think I was one of the few who they hit hard. My husband refers to them as my crazy pills, and for good reason. Below is what a typical day on clomid was like for me. (Please read the side effects at the bottom to ensure you don't think I'm crazy.)

7 am: Wake up and be in a rush to get to work
7:45 am: Grab clomid. Warning clomid may impair your ability to drive or operate heavy machinery.  Better drive to work before taking clomid.
8am: take clomid
9am: stomach cramps. Insert crazy emotions, like crying at a song on pandora while at work
11am: ugh, tummy hurts. Pop some tums...pop 6 tums.
11:45am: crazy emotional mess. I'm so angry there's nothing on tv. Start crying because your dog didn't run over and give you kisses. Keep crying because, "If a dog doesn't love me, a baby won't."
Noon: Get angry at the dog for making you feel like you're unlovable (Yes, I know how crazy this sounds)
1pm: Insert crazy headache. Migrane of the century. I never had headaches before clomid!
1:15pm: Get angry that clomid is making my headache
2pm: Drive to get an iced coffee to cure the headache
2:15pm: Drink iced coffee at work. Start getting extremely dizzy while working on my dual monitor work station
3pm: Decide I'm too dizzy to work and take a 10 minute walk to get myself felling stable
3:15pm: Walk back to my chair holding back tears because this is my fault I have to take clomid
3:45 pm: Sweat through my work shirt. Love hot flashes as a side effect. Nothing like a swoobs sweat mark in a work shirt that screams I'm a professional.
4pm: Debate whether or not to strip down to a tank top at work.
4:15pm: Continue to sweat. Turn the thermostat down as long as it can go
4:45pm: Become so frustrated that it's not 5pm and almost start to cry
5pm: Rush home with the A/C on high
5:15pm: Get angry because husband's not home yet
5:16pm: Cry because husband's not home yet
6pm: Starving for supper. Make supper and pour a glass of wine to unwind
6:15pm: Sip wine and then get upset because a glass of wine won't help me get pregnant.
7pm: Watch every show on lifetime with a box of Kleenex
8pm: Watch "I'm having their baby" and root one way or another for the baby
9pm: Find out the ending and cry because I want a baby
9:15pm: Realize my husband's rolling his eyes and saying that those mood effects are one sure big side effect.
9:16pm: Get angry at myself for these mood swings.
9:30pm: Cry to husband and apologize for not acting like myself
10pm: Coax husband into a movie in bed and try to fall asleep or remain silent out of fear of the person clomid is turning me into.
11pm: Lie awake thinking I have four more days of this.

Repeat for the next 4-5 days with reasons changing, but crazy emotions remaining the same. Wait 2-3 weeks. Cry because, "It didn't work." Repeat clomid cycle.

Now: waiting to see when to start next cycle and debate if it's worth acting like a crazy person. Getting sad and fearful of it not working.

Despite if it works or not, clomid has been one hell of a roller coaster. I will say it was a bit better the second cycle.

Cheers to having hope and options,
Katie