Honey Put on Your Party Dress

Unexplained Infertility itself is a journey. It makes you step back and really look at the important things in your life. It also makes you hurt and think of all the things you would change about your past. It makes you hurt and have to tackle each day with that same painful smile on your face. It makes you busy trying to distract yourself. It makes you lonely.

The worst thing it does: it makes you put a price tag on a child.

After our RE appointment, the choices she recommended were exciting. They were exciting until we got to the details. Calculating how much it was going to cost and calculating how far we could or would be willing to go with our modest incomes.

The excitement of starting next cycle wore off as soon as the price tag was put on.

What am I doing? Am I so selfish that I would spend our live savings to maybe have a baby. The maybe is key. There are no guarantees. There's no money back. There's no tears back either. As if infertility isn't stressful enough, you just go ahead and top it with crazy big doctors bills.

As in all things in life, the choices make it hard.

I don't think there is a right or wrong in this. I think there's heartache either way.
There's pain and anger.
There's excitement and fear.

How do you share something like this? If we move forward, how do we tell people? What do we say when people say, "I can't believe you finally got pregnant!"? How do we respond? Is it a simple smile and thanks or is it something like, "Yeah..we worked really hard with our team of doctors to get this, it's truly a gift." I know I'm jumping way ahead of myself, but those are the things going on in my mind.

If you've done this, please leave a comment and offer advice.