IVF, Adoption, Fostering

Having kids was always something I wanted in my life. After I got married, it became something that we both wanted as well. Our infertility path is a simple continuation of that desire. 

Yet, we sit here at a roadblock pondering what to do next.

How do we decide? What is right for us? What's next?

There is one thing we both know: we want kids and we want to have a family. The biggest question: at what cost? While I understand the financial implications of having children, I never dreamed of the cost to conceive a child.

At this point, all of our options are a gamble--a gamble of time, money, and emotions.

Foster Care/Foster Adoption
Foster care is not intended to lead to adoption. The goal is to 1) bring the children back to their parents, then 2) bring the children back in the care of a relative. After both those avenues are checked, then the next in line for adoption are the parents fostering that child. You never know or have any idea if all parental rights will be relinquished, so you may not be lucky enough to foster a child available for adoption. For us, this was too big of emotional gamble. The heartbreak I would face after loving and providing for a child only to have to see them leave would be too much. Kids can be in foster care for years and still be reunited with their birth parents. Having no children now, I just couldn't do that to myself. At this time, foster care just isn't for us. Once we have a child, I would love to do foster care. I highly admire those with the big heart to be able to go through this.

Adoption
We've considered adoption a lot. If you know anything about adoption, you would also know the expenses of it are hefty. Maybe I've seen one too many episodes of I'm having their baby on Lifetime, but adoption is a financial and emotional gamble as well. The birth mother has a 50/50 chance of choosing to parent and then we would be out the money to the adoption agency, the money to support the birth mother. We would be financially and emotionally drained, and we would be out of the time. For us, time is a big issue. In the big picture, my husband's side doesn't have a good history of living over 50. If we were to go with adoption first and it fall through and then decide on IVF, we would be out years of egg quality.

IVF
I never considered IVF until it was our only option. The clinic we go to has been very helpful, laying everything out open and honestly. IVF is expensive. The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) lists the average price of an in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle in the U.S. to be $12,400. That price doesn't include medications or the pre-IVF procedures. I feel a bit ridiculous that this gamble is the one we want to go with, but it feels right for us. Our clinic has a 54% success rate--I'm taking the extra 4% and running with it. They also offer financing though an affiliate that is guaranteed or your money back. At this point, I'm happy and excited to get that process going within the next six months. While there is a lot of financial and emotional implications with IVF, it has the greatest success rate. After 2 and a half years of trying, we're choosing the option with the glass the fullest.

Every infertility case is different. The reasons and issues are very different. This is my view on what will work best for us and our situation.




Note:The main reason I started my blog was to have an outlet to dump my infertility emotions into.That being said, most of my posts are about infertility. I have never known anyone personally who's gone through the struggle we're going to, but blogger has connected me to so many women in my shoes that it's comforting knowing I'm not the only one going through this.