For way too long I kept my infertility a silent struggle. I did it because I was embarrassed (as if it was something I did wrong) and because when I brought it up, the responses I got were not good. I spent too much time getting poor advice or listening to people brush my disease of infertility under the rug.
I wanted to put together some advice on supporting and showing you care to those who are struggling whit infertility.
Be mindful of your words. Words are a tough thing with infertility. Some people don't want to talk about it and others are open. A simple notion of, "I'm thinking of you," or a small sincere gesture showing that your acknowledge the person and that they're going through something tough. Be careful not to give advice. For me personally, the advice from friends or those who haven't experienced infertility is often incorrect and can be right out rude. Remember, infertility is a diagnosis from a reproductive specialist and someone going through infertility has likely read every piece of advice out there.
Be a friend. I spent at least 2 years not wanting to attend any events. The medication I was on had crazy negative side effects, including weight gain, making more uncomfortable out and about. At the events I did attend, I sat in conversations filled with talks of reusable diapers and people trying for more babies. It made me want to curl up into a ball. I had a few close friends drag me out. If I was really down, they would just sit with me. The close friends would do anything to make me feel like I was still the same person I once was before the drugs and diagnosis.
Don't have expectations.. For a long time, I didn't go to any events, do anything, or see anyone. Weddings and birthdays were filled with people asking when we were going to have kids. Baby showers and kids birthdays felt like knife jabbing me and constantly reminding me what I couldn't have. Just remember that infertility is medical condition that is life changing and an emotional roller coaster.
No comments:
Post a Comment