Resolve to Help those struggling with infertility

For way too long I kept my infertility a silent struggle. I did it because I was embarrassed (as if it was something I did wrong) and because when I brought it up, the responses I got were not good. I spent too much time getting poor advice or listening to people brush my disease of infertility under the rug.

I wanted to put together some advice on supporting and showing you care to those who are struggling whit infertility.

Be mindful of your words. Words are a tough thing with infertility. Some people don't want to talk about it and others are open. A simple notion of, "I'm thinking of you," or a small sincere gesture showing that your acknowledge the person and that they're going through something tough. Be careful not to give advice. For me personally, the advice from friends or those who haven't experienced infertility is often incorrect and can be right out rude. Remember, infertility is a diagnosis from a reproductive specialist and someone going through infertility has likely read every piece of advice out there.

Be a friend. I spent at least 2 years not wanting to attend any events. The medication I was on had crazy negative side effects, including weight gain, making more uncomfortable out and about. At the events I did attend, I sat in conversations filled with talks of reusable diapers and people trying for more babies. It made me want to curl up into a ball. I had a few close friends drag me out. If I was really down, they would just sit with me. The close friends would do anything to make me feel like I was still the same person I once was before the drugs and diagnosis.


Don't have expectations.. For a long time, I didn't go to any events, do anything, or see anyone. Weddings and birthdays were filled with people asking when we were going to have kids. Baby showers and kids birthdays felt like knife jabbing me and constantly reminding me what I couldn't have. Just remember that infertility is medical condition that is life changing and an emotional roller coaster.

Go VoxBox + The Next Step Fit N Full review

VoxBox

As part of the Influenster network, I was sent the VoxBox. The VoxBox contained: ProFoot pedi-rock and sole inserts, BlueDiamond Blueberry almonds, aqua spa bath salts, The Vitamin Shoppee's The Next Step shake samples (3), the Jaxx Shaker cup, and tampons.

I was sent The Next Step shakes in my VoxBox and instantly thought, great.
I was really hesitant to try the shake, but I decided to go for it. I was pleasantly surprised by the product. The texture was smooth and not chalky. It was a delish flavor that wasn't too overpowering like most shakes. Not only was the flavor great, but it has so many vitamins that I felt great after without a nasty after taste.Typically, I avoid shakes because I have a sensitive stomach, but these were light and smooth on my stomach as well!

My favorite part was the Jaxx container to break up all the powder and really mix the shake. 

The ProFoot pedi-rock and sole inserts were great. The pedi-rock is like a pumice rock that's soft and squishy to touch. You can literally squeeze this thing. I used it on my foot dry and it didn't hurt. It left my foot soft!

If you need an addiction in your life, grab some Blue Diamond Blueberry Almonds. The taste is amazing! The blueberry flavor tastes like an actual blueberry, but has the almond crunch that is a killer combo!

Infertility on Mother's Day

Infertility on Mother's Day has been the sum of the last three years Mother's Day.

It's a day of celebration of those who raised us and took care of us along the way.
I love my mom and those who are mom's in my life that surround me, yet on this day I have a heavy heart.

What does it mean to be a mother? I would say someone who would give anything for you, for a child is pretty damn close to a defining summary of mother-istic qualities. That is something I, and my TTC sisters, have.

I would give anything for a child.
I've miscarried, does that make me a mother?
I've put my mind, body, and soul through the ringer for the chance to have a child--does that qualify me?

The resume of things I've done, am willing to do, and would do for a child grows daily.
My resume is likely longer than most mother's out there, yet they still have the title that I covet: Mother.

NIAW: Resolve to know more about the process

The process of an infertility diagnosis isn't an easy one. For too long, the friends and family closest to us held on to the idea that infertility was something we made up. It was something that happened because we weren't relaxed or because we weren't doing it at the right time.

But that's not how it works. We started with very painful ectopic pregnancy that made me put a halt on further efforts for a while. I was sad and in pain. I just wanted to feel normal. We tired. And then we really tried. Everything was timed and mechanical. I should've invested in stock for ovulation kits because I was using them up like crazy.

None of it worked.

Still, none of it worked.

We started at my local OBGYN. Everything tested fine and normal. We went on clomid. Then more clomid. Then even some more. (I say we because my husband had to put up with the crazy person clomid turned me into.) Then, my OBGYN wouldn't refill. Semen test was next. Yup, another normal. HSG, another normal.

I've tried SO SO many things on this list, that it actually frightens me a bit.
I've heard so many, “If you just do XYZ, you’ll get pregnant in no time! It happened to my friend/cousin/hairdresser…”  stories. Believe me when I say: we’ve tried everything. Vitamins? Too many to count. Fertility Acupuncture? Twice a week.

Then it was the big referral: the Reproductive Endocrinologist. From there, it was a lot of overwhelming information and tests that turned out to be not so normal. I cried every single night. I would wait until my husband fell asleep to cry: he didn't need to know how deep my hurt and sadness was. The tears followed me to every appointment. Every follicle that didn't measure to size was a tear. Every follicle that measured too big was a tear. I have spent more time than is healthy having professionals stare at my crotch. It's funny having a vaginal ultrasound and having a screen showing you how your ovaries and follicles look to the point where you, the patient, can tell if a follicle isn't up to size.

Medications, injections, and countless appointments later we had an honest conversation with the RE's PA who we worked with closely. I asked her to put herself in my shoes. Not a step out of beat, she said stop what you're doing and move to IVF. The odds were so much better with IVF.

IVF = $$$$$. We had a talk and decided to have some time to breath and live life without fertility drugs before we do IVF. It's looking like late fall is when follicle count and size will really start to matter for us.

That's the process of my diagnosis, coping, and living with infertility.